How Brian "Head" Welch & Korn changed my life

2016.
25 years old
25.000€ in debt

Bad decisions lead to bad consequences

I neglected my health. I dropped out of collage. Twice. Had several car crashes. And when I went to earn money abroad, I fucked up and just lost thrice as much. When I finally got back Home and started the reconciliation and revitalization process, I was rising from the very muddy bottom. I had to start from scratch, literally from nothing. And at that time, I had to reevaluate a lot of mistakes from my past and paths they lead me on.

Living in my bed for over four months after a surgery, I had nothing to do, nowhere to go, nobody to talk to. I was left alone, all to myself. It helped me a lot to think about my past and future life. What I always wanted, but never got. What I always went for, but actually never wanted. These four months marked a period in my life that ended the running away and started the healing process, not only in my body, but also in my mind. 

Serenity of Suffering

I decided that after almost a decade trying to study occult and philosophical Satanism of Anton LaVey, I'm giving up. It's obviously not good for me and I don't wanna do it anymore. But what was I supposed to do? Go back to God, back to Christianity? Well, as it turned out, yes. I'd never imagine it's going to be Korn, out of all the bands, who got me back on tracks. Well, specifically Brian "Head" Welch, the Korn's guitarist. I always knew band, since I started listening to metal, but never heard more than one track - Got the life. Until they announced a show in my country. That's the time, when I really went deep into the music and stories, and realized what opportunity I had right in front of me.

Save me from myself

I started reading. Save me from myself, stronger, with my eyes wide open and other books. But mostly Brian's story was the one, that made me open my eyes. Try to understand me. Bullied in high school, I never felt being accepted. I was always an outcast. That's why I run away, trying to rebel. But it didn't work out for me. Suddenly, there was this fucking huge rockstar, a guitar player, that was speaking of God's Grace. How his life was a mess and now he was saved. Saved from drugs, alcohol and all, that the party life brings. It hit me man. It hit me like a fucking freight train. He achieved everything I dreamed of as a musician. But it didn't make him happy. It nearly killed him. I knew, I had to do something and do it fast.

Wisdom comes through Suffering

Home. This song, of Brian's solo album really struck me with the chorus. Wisdom comes through suffering. Many people think, that it's really negative message, to be carrying on your skin. That it invites suffering to your life. I strongly disagree. For me, this song is what made me understand, that all I went through, all I survived made me learn. I learnt so much from my suffering. It helped me understand, what I really wanted in my life. What are and what are not the things, to aim for.

Thanks to this song (and Adonai, which will have it's place on the other forearm with the quote: "Let your worries rest on Adonai") I now have a vastly different life. In the last six years, I was able to repay all the 25.000 I accumulated, find several good jobs and eventually start building a business as the studio technician. In my own studio. How amazing is that? All because one man didn' give a fuck about what metalheads would think of him, publicly claiming Christ in his heart. 

Thanks to his bravery I was able to leave my pose of a life behind me and start focusing on what really matters. Love, passion, true friends and family. It's not perfect, not in the slightest. But, I made the hardest of decisions in those six years. And they start to show the fruit of the work I've done.

Thank you Brian for being an inspiration to change my life.

=Havran=

New life

My lovely studio

Now, I'm building a business in audio / video production. Recording original music and covers, editing podcasts & videos and so much more. I love my new life.

Guitar and more

Currently rocking an Ibanez 7 string with A tuning and a Cort 6 string with Drop C. But want to update to ESP & Mesa Boogie soon.

Purple Wings

As your book inspired me, I'm writing my whole story into a book of my own, hoping to help inspire as I was inspired.